Understand what empathy is the purest kindness

After writing so many issues of kindness, I remember a reader friend sent me a private message. Is kindness really that important? You always talk about the benefits of kindness, and even you have written excessive kindness will ruin us. Don’t you think it’s contradictory? Use your own spear to attack your own shield.

I think that everything in the world actually has a relatively unified advantage and disadvantage and acts on the same body. It seems that there is a specific range that is invisible and intangible. Within the range, it is good, and if it is over, it is abuse. From the perspective of resources, it is called resource abuse. There is an idiom called excessiveness and failure. It also means this. What I mean is goodness from the perspective of Buddhism, and it is not a great deal of goodness. It is shallow/middle-level kindness. It is widely used to goodness in life. Only those who know how to empathize can grasp the standard of kindness. Such people often master the most appropriate way to communicate with others and be kind to others. They often give people a sense of déjà et al. So what is empathy? Yu Xi tells you a few stories, and you may understand it.

o1

I once read an article, which was sourced from "Genius on the left and madman on the right". Next, I will briefly tell you this story.

There is a mentally ill patient who always treats himself as a mushroom, so he squats in the corner day and night, not eating or drinking for several days, just like a real mushroom.

He needs treatment very much, I think if it were us who would be the role of psychologists.

We might say, "You are not a mushroom, get up quickly."

We may repeat a sentence over and over again, until we feel annoyed and can't help but get angry at the patient. We may even reach out and pull him up, but I think the patient will still be indifferent, no matter if you try your best or go your own way without moving, make a mushroom.

The real psychologist did this: "He also held an umbrella and sat quietly next to the patient."

The patient asked strangely: "Who are you? Why are you squatting here too?" The doctor replied: I am a mushroom."

The patient nodded and continued to make his mushrooms, while his doctor was accompanied by his side with a calm look on his face. After a while, none of them spoke.

After a while, the doctor stood up and walked two steps.

The patient asked in confusion: "How can you move if you are a mushroom?"

The doctor said: "Mushrooms can move. If you don't believe it, come and try it." As expected, the patient stood up and walked around imitating the doctor's appearance.

He said, "Oh, it turns out that you can move mushrooms as well."

Not long after the doctor started eating, he asked, "How can you eat?"

The doctor replied: "How can we grow up without eating mushrooms? We will die if we don't eat for a long time."

The patient nodded and started eating imitating the doctor's appearance.

A few weeks later, the patient was cured and he could finally eat, drink and have fun like a normal person. This story tells us a truth:

Empathy: The meaning of empathy is difficult and easy to say. When others encounter difficulties, squat down and stand in person to measure from the other person's perspective, and then find the most correct way to help him. Looking at the problem from the perspective of others and thinking from the perspective of others is the only way to better solve the problem. Only by learning empathy can you touch the softness of others' hearts, and then comprehensively use your kindness to provide effective help to others.

o2 Helen Keller and her teacher Sally Vin

Helen Keller is a famous American writer and educator. In 1882, when she was over one year old, her brain was damaged due to a high fever. From then on, she could not see her eyes, hear her ears, and later, she could not even speak.

She groped in the dark and grew up. When she was seven years old, her family hired a tutor for her, namely, Sally, who affected Helen's life. Sally was almost blind when she was a child, so she knew the pain of losing light very well. Under her hard guidance, Helen learned to use her hands to touch her hand, and learned to read, and later touched someone else's lips with her hands, and finally learned to speak.

In order to get Helen to nature, she let her roll on the grass, run and jump in the fields, plant seeds in the fields, climb onto trees to eat. She also took her to touch the newborn piglet and also go to the river to play in the water. With the teacher's love and care, Helen actually overcomes the obstacles of blindness and deafness and completes her college studies.

In 1936, when the teacher who had been with her day and night for fifty years left the world, Helen was very sad. Helen knew that without the love of her teacher, she would not be the one she is today, and she was determined to spread the love her teacher gave her. So Helen traveled all over the cities of America, traveling around the world, running around for disabled people, and serving those who are unlucky.

In 1968, Helen died at the age of 89. She spread all her lifelong deeds to serve people with disabilities all over the world. She wrote many books and her stories were made into movies. Teacher Sullivan gave her the most precious love, and she spreads love to all the unfortunate people, bringing them light and hope.

"The most beautiful thing in the world is invisible or touched, and it depends on your heart to feel it."

Yes, Teacher Sullivan taught Helen to listen carefully to all things in nature and experience life with her heart. She also gave her love for this world. And Helen has a kindness with gratitude and reaches the highest level of empathy. The care you get is priceless, so you have learned how to convey the purest love in the world in priceless care.

o3

I've seen such a story on Weibo

The protagonist of the story is a primary school student. One afternoon during the winter vacation that year, a beggar holding a bag of fertilizer and holding a broken porcelain bowl at his doorstep. His trousers were covered with holes, but his face was relatively clean.

When he saw the protagonist's family gathered for dinner, he asked if he could give him some food or drinks, and water was fine. His seriously ill wife was lying in the car outside the door. He said that if he was alone, I could not give up on anything, and not eat or drink. But I couldn't let my lover down.

It happened that day that a neighbor visited his house and said he would give him some leftover buns and beat him away.

However, grandma put down the chopsticks in her hand and said to her mother, "Split half of the steamed buns that just came out of the pot, and then returned to the house and took some money for them."

The man took the steamed bun and insisted that he would not charge the money. In the end, the old man forced the money to him.

The neighbor was puzzled and kept saying sarcastic words, saying that you are really rich, or something. In short, there was no word he heard from beginning to end.

Watching the strange man walk away.

The old man sighed and said that in order to support the whole family, she also asked for food from others back then. It happened that year that there was a famine and the bark was eaten up. It would be nice to have taro leaves during the Chinese New Year.

What impressed her most was that a family gave her a cornmeal steamed bun at that time. This incident caused a great impact on the young protagonist and remembered it all his life.

Many times I think I am sympathizing with others, but in fact I am sympathizing with myself. I only feel empathy because of similar situations.

The most advanced kindness is empathy. Do what you want to others. Do not do to others what you don’t want to others. You think you are mocking others, but you are actually dirtying yourself.

Yuxi teaches you how to deal with things 1

1. When encountering things, calm yourself down first, and while looking at the overall situation, link up small things and draw conclusions: "Do you have any mistakes and where are you wrong? Find the reasons from yourself instead of just picking others' faults. One bowl doesn't touch you, two bowls jingle."

2. Some words from your mouth are like sharp daggers. Don’t say them if they hurt people too much. Nails are easy to pull out but the nail marks are still there. If there are any mistakes, correct them; if there are no one, encourage them. Don’t care about me three times a day, but don’t make the same mistake a second time. The words said are like water poured out and it is difficult to stop. And many times you will regret what you say.

3. Think from the perspective of others and be impartial. Even if you are about yourself, or you can think like this, it may be a good thing to be strict with yourself, and suffering losses is also a blessing. Life is not a smooth journey. In setbacks, you will know how to survive the fittest.

4. Be kind to others and be more tolerant of others. Don’t have too many villains. You can also think that you are the waste who can make a comeback. The person who can bend and stretch is the character.

5. When you can do the above, Yu Xi recommends a book. If you read each story carefully, you will definitely have a different understanding.

Appreciate kind and grateful people

Gratitude is a kind of good deed. The old saying goes, and the grace of a drop of water will be rewarded with a spring of water. As people walking in this world, we must always be grateful. Gratitude is an attitude towards life, a virtue, and a great wisdom in life. Only when a person is grateful can he know how to cherish, respect, give, cherish the people around him or take everything in life seriously. Always be grateful, he will receive the kindness of good thoughts and his mood will naturally be peaceful. Forgiving others is to treat himself kindly, which is actually a blessing. Kind people will not age easily because of her mentality of not being confused. If time flies, kindness will be unchanging gold.

Plant a seed of kindness in everyone's heart

Kindness is a smile from the soul, a kind of respect for life, and a spiritual realm of truth, goodness and beauty. Kindness can drive away the deep cold of the twelfth lunar month. On the road of life, with a kind heart to treat the encounters of life, life will be bright and transparent everywhere. Giving roses to others, leaving fragrance in your hands, every touching is like the petals flying all over the sky in May, and the flowers bloom undefeated, just because the beautiful harmony remains in the world, kindness to others, and tolerate yourself. Every kindness is like the dew of spring rain, soaking the most beautiful life. Time passes, even if one day the face is gone, life will be young and beautiful because of kindness and will never wither. The most beautiful face is your kindness.

Kindness is a kind of cultivation

Being kind to others means being kind to yourself. If you want to get the love of others, you must first learn to love others. A kind person will not be petty about small things, nor will he be very happy and sad because of temporary gains and losses. He is willing to consider others when doing things, from helping someone, from having everything in the world in his heart. Every time he stretches out his hands, he will be warm, and every time he looks back, he will leave a shallow smile. Kindness is the most moving melody on the stage of life, like the blue sky, clean and transparent, like the orchid blooming in the world, scattering tranquility and indifference, interpreting the light and lightness of life.

Kindness is the tender flowers blooming in the heart lake

Kindness, as crystal clear as snowflakes, is the background color of life; it is as warm and bright as the sun, is the bridge for the transmission of love and love; it is as clear and transparent as the spring water in the mountains, cleansing the dust of life; it twitches the heartstrings like the sound of a piano, playing the most beautiful music on the lake of heart, kindness is a heart lamp, illuminating people's pace, decorating life's poems, kindness is the most beautiful scenery in life

It is a unique scenery that you have seen once but will always remember in your heart.

A person's beauty blooms from the inside out

The beauty of the soul is the true beauty. Women may not be beautiful, but they must not be kind. Kind people are particularly charming, like lotus in flowers, pure and elegant. They have a clear heart that hides warmth on their lips and roots beauty in the clear and shallow years. Kind people are warm and kind, and they scatter a faint fragrance in every move, like the drizzle of spring, moistening things silently sow kindness, warming themselves and fragrant others.

Heart is like rain
Chapter completed!