Be a kind person, but my kindness must be a little sharp

Original: Heart Ruyu Xi Shanghe Culture Communication May 23

At work or among friends, remember "Dear, you have the right to say no"

There are always such girls around me

She is very good in all aspects, but she is just a little too kind and loves to take care of things.

In my eyes, she is busy all day long. After she finishes her own, she is busy with other people's. Her verbal words are: It's okay, I'll help you. Why don't you let me go? Anyway, I'm idle. Later, she said: I'll help you immediately after I finish her work. No trouble, no, everyone is good colleagues. It's okay. I saw her saying this, but she already has a lot of work.

However, getting along with them is very relaxed and pleasant. That is because they don’t know how to refuse others. If others ask for help, they always smile. Yes, I will help you. They always meet other people’s needs. They do their best to complete tasks, and sometimes they can do their best to complete tasks. Everyone does everything perfectly. However, in the end, those kind-hearted efforts are taken for granted by others. "Isn’t this her business? Now looking at the workplace, everyone emphasizes teamwork. If I can’t call her together if I can’t finish things I can do?"

We went to have dinner on weekends. The kind-hearted little girl told me aggrievedly: "I am very tired all day and have to complete the rest of others' tasks every day. Sometimes I stayed up late, and I saw that she was not as busy as she said when I was helping her. She even put down her work and talked to other colleagues when I was helping her, and she was so uncomfortable. That's your business, not mine, it's really good for you. Later, she became more rude and would never say thank you to me again. And the tone of her speaking to me was as if I should, and I seemed to owe her something."

After hearing her complain a lot, I just replied lightly, "Next time, you can say no. After all, you are different from her. The employee code stipulates that you complete your job on time and your superiors will assign your tasks. And she is not your boss."

Later, she tried to refuse, but what she got was criticism from others. She tried to say no. In the end, not helping was her fault. She was even labeled as saying: she was bad, indifferent, selfish, and even jailed. She was also excluded by her colleagues.

"Tsk, if you want to help them, don't help me."

No one even jumped out of the people who were helped and said that she was really busy. Instead, she followed this person and pointed at her.

So, she really changed, became confused, and she was thinking all day long about what the problem was? Why did it spread to this point? Could it be that I did something wrong, and I should continue to help them selflessly? But even if I gave all my efforts, I was criticized for them even when I was not in good condition. Am I friends with her? Obviously not. The Three Character Classic says that people are good at the beginning. I also learned to do not do evil because they are small, and not do good because they are small. People are kind-hearted, and some kind-hearted people will not be too lucky. They are obviously kind, but why are they wronged in the end? They also began to doubt the "kindness".

I should have been a clear person from the beginning. I was wrong from the beginning, so I was like this.

But in fact, "kindness" itself is understandable.

People should be kind, but kindness should be moderate and find the right method. Otherwise, in the eyes of others, there is no bottom line, no principles, and even no self. Because you have no bottom line, others will become more reckless.

Emerson once said this: "Your kindness must be a little sharp, otherwise it will be zero."

Kind people are always accustomed to giving in and finally retreating into the abyss, and there is nowhere to retreat. Excessive kindness has also turned us into soft persimmons that can be kneaded at will in the eyes of some people.

Gradually, if you can't pull it down, you will feel embarrassed. Other people's requests will become more unscrupulous, and some of them will naturally become demanding.

Mona Lisa's smile, but as the heroine of Da Vinci's painting, is she just smiling without tears? Looking at this painting from different angles, you will see that you are in different positions and angles, and her smile is also different in your eyes. She is a treacherous smile or a smile. In front of an equally selfless kind person, she sees you, and those ordinary people who will never consider her, she sees you. Appreciate kindness and she will treat you kindly, but most people will not.

In the workplace, learn to say no. Add some information to your kindness.

2 "I am not a gentle person, but I do all the gentle things for you. Is this true?"

Leaves don’t turn yellow every day, and people’s hearts don’t turn cold every day.

The fall of leaves is the ruthless wind, or the tree is not retained.

I love you and I have used all my strength in my life, and now I am gone. You are not wrong, but I am wrong, because I love you too humble. In the end, you will always be so self-righteous. And I am like a fool. I see through your heart and see the future in your language. Let go of love, I will feel pain, but I will feel pain all my life with you.

There is never anyone right or wrong in the world of love. Many times, love is carried out in many unequal worlds. Home is never a place to reason.

Is the love hut unreasonable?

There is a saying that if we don’t have a bad reputation, how can we meet each other? Later, we passed by each other and turned a tacitly turned a blind eye. In the end, we were better than miss it.

I have a good friend, she always chooses to forgive. Some classmates on campus clearly said something too much, but she can just smile. The three words that I said most in my life: It doesn't matter. Later, she fell in love and she couldn't help falling in love with that person. And she repeatedly chose to be tolerant. I have seen that boy and was deeply impressed by him. He was a very self-centered person. When the three of us went out for dinner together, he was always used to taking the menu from the waiter and ordering it.

Then he handed it back to the waiter. He wouldn't even ask me symbolically, to see if there is any supplement. I asked my friend when I went to the bathroom together: "Do you think he is good? He won't ask what you eat?" She said: "It doesn't matter, I'm not picky about food, he's more picky about food." "We are at home, I just choose what he likes to eat every day. I get off work very early and he sometimes has a very hard time sorting out information. To control a man, he should first take care of his stomach."

If I ask again, "Then he won't do anything for you, you think of him so much." She will definitely tell me, "We are together, it's the one I pursue. It's not easy for me to chase him down, I recognize it."

She treats him so well, and can be said to be considerate. But sometimes they will quarrel, quarreling around the boy's ambiguous relationship with many sisters around them.

She told me: "Actually, there are other girls around him all the time. I always know that, but I see through it and don't say it out loud. I'm afraid that if I say too much, he will leave."

Later, I attended their wedding. Her dream came true and she finally married her beloved. She said I wanted a lot and I wanted to give him a baby. That was the crystallization of our love. At the wedding, she was filled with tears of excitement.

On the first day after my honeymoon trip, I went to the unit and just turned on the computer to write a manuscript. A phone call came in, and she cried and said, "He always told me that the phone was private. That's because he still had contact with his ex-girlfriend and had been intimate. During the honeymoon trip, he lied to me and said that there was something wrong with the unit and he must do it. In fact, he went to find her. He lied to me."

"I said, what do you want to do? Just leave?" She stopped talking, holding the phone in her hand, and I clearly heard a girl crying on the other end of the phone.

In the end, this matter was really as I expected, and it was left alone.

She was pregnant and was about to be a mother. During that time, I happened to be on vacation in the workplace. My best friend whom I haven't seen for a long time should have made an appointment to meet. But what surprised me was that she sat opposite me with a sad face and kept sighing. "If there is a next life, I can't love so humble. I regret it." It turned out that just when her belly was getting bigger and she was unable to move. As a man, he did not share the housework as usual, but went home to play games in the computer room. And he never changed his habit of contacting his sister. He ran out in the middle of the night to eat skewers and drink with his sister.

That was the last time I asked her: "What do you plan to do in the future?"

Her answer was: "When he becomes a father, he will definitely change it. He vowed me to never again. He said he would give him some time and he would love me and the children well."

Later, her circle of friends often had very sad words, or even photos of herself crying. I looked quietly and didn't say anything. Because I knew that even if she was sad to the end, she never thought of leaving him.

She was not afraid of her own heart, but she was afraid that he would suddenly say divorce.

A lack of bottom-line kindness makes you passively obey and lack the courage to make decisions, and you will become indecisive.

I am tolerant and forgive, and I am healing the scars again and again, forgetting the pain.

But in love, such grievances and mercy did not bring about the beautiful ending you were looking forward to, but instead became a pass to acquiesce to the other party's behavior. He who is favored will always be fearless.

If you saw your present day at the beginning, would you choose him... Then love someone like this without hesitation

I think she will. She always only considers her and does not treat herself kindly.

Contributor: Heart Ruyu Xi (Philosophical and Literature Kindness)

3 Famous host - Dong Qing "Sorry, My Kindness is Very Expensive"

Finally, I quoted a series of "Sorry, My Kindness is Expensive" from Dong Qing as the ending paragraph of my article

"Kindness is precious, but if kindness does not grow teeth, it is weakness."

"You have to know that if you are so good in this world that you are unreserved, the other party will dare to be so detrimental that it is unscrupulous."

Kindness without edges not only cannot convey your kindness to the world, but also brings your cowardice; kindness without principles makes true friends disappointed, and people who are not worthy will never understand the four big words "inviolating".

"You are so good, you must help me."

"You are so good, you will definitely not reject me."

“Many times we hear this. Some people are embarrassed to refuse out of face.

But if you think about it carefully, will I have to help you? Besides, I am not the reason why I am helping you.

Be a kind person with edges and edge, know how to use wisdom to punish evil and promote good, be a good person to be good people, and show your sharpness and strength to bad people.

It is not wrong for people to maintain a kind heart, but it is not that they have no bottom line to be good to everyone. If you don’t have a bottom line, they have no principles. When kindness loses its principles, it will encourage evil.

Kindness with edges is true kindness. People without edges and edges are difficult for them to go further in this vulgar world.
Chapter completed!